The 12 Stages of My Self-Development Journey (2023-2026)

Podcast: Pose and Purpose™
Episode Title: The 12 Stages of My Self-Development Journey (2023-2026)
Host: Christina Josephine

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Transcript

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Introduction

Hello and welcome to Pose and Purpose, the podcast where we discuss personal development, fashion, etiquette, modelling, and much, much more. If you are familiar with the podcast, thank you so much for your patience. As you may know from my last episode, I am recovering from burnout at the moment, and instead of uploading every two weeks, I am now uploading every three weeks.I really hope that doesn't cause you too much inconvenience. But I am now back with a new episode, and today's episode is a special one, and I've been really excited to record this episode because I'm sharing something I've never spoken about before and something I don't think anyone else has ever mentioned before either. Over the past few weeks I started noticing patterns throughout my own personal growth journey— looking back over the past three years, I realised my growth hadn't been random. I naturally moved through different stages without even realizing it. So in today's episode, I will be discussing the 12 personal development stages that I personally experienced since 2023. These are not universal stages, everyone's journey will look different. These are the segments I've personally moved through— from three years ago until today. Many of them overlap, many continue into later stages, and I'm sure there will be many more to come. If you would like to know how and why I started my self-development journey in the first place, I would recommend listening to my episode The One Year Anniversary of the Podcast, where I share much more about my own personal story.Because I will only be briefly talking about it in this episode, not in full depth. And if you would like to hear the actual universal stages of a personal development journey, I recommend my previous episode, my personal perspective on what self-development is, because I go through the eight universal stages that most people go through in that episode. Because this episode is not universal, but you may still relate to it.and I would love hear your personal perspective and opinions on it afterwards. Anyway, I have been talking a lot, so let's get into the 12 stages of self-development.

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Stage 1: Testing & Discovery (Part 1)

The first one is testing and discovery. This is the first stage I ever experienced, as this was where my curiosity really began. Think of this stage as just testing the waters. You are new to personal development. And just sparking your curiosity. So these could be things like motivational speeches, motivational content, motivational self-love quotes. That was my experience. Or yours could also be affirmations, podcasts, (maybe even this one!) or self-help books. This was really the beginning of everything, and it really set the foundation for my journey, eager to learn more.The testing and discovery phase is not why you get into your self development journey, that's due to personal circumstances. Maybe you've gone through traumatic experiences, like I mentioned in my previous episode, but this is about how you get into your self development journey and making the journey well, entering the journey and making it stick and making it sustainable and really unleashing that curiosity inside of you and that eager to change. Stage one is very similar to stage two of the universal stages like I mentioned in my last episode, which was the consumation stage. They are quite similar.

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Stage 2: Starting to Build Positive Habits

Now the second stage links directly with the first. It is still testing and discovery.Because after consuming all this motivational content, I personally naturally wanted to test everything I was learning. So this stage became all about habits and aesthetic self care. Things like meditation, self-care baths, journalling. solo dates. I also started stripping down my routines bit by bit, slowly and gradually, looking at what was serving me and what wasn't.This stage was also about experimenting and testing in the waters, trying different habits and seeing what worked for me. Because people think of personal development as "Oh yeah, it's just self-care baths, it's just doing your nails". going to the hairdressers. It's not that, it's much, much more deeper. It's more inner work rather than outer. work. It is both combined. So this testing and discovery phase of stage two links with that stereotype of aesthetic self-care, just pampering yourself. And that's why it links so well with stage one, because stage one was testing the waters and really entering your journey. And what normally enters your journey, maybe some kind of content, maybe social media, self-development content, Pinterest, TikTok, Instagram. it could be self-help books.Podcasts, that kind of thing, but Especially if you got into your self-development journey via social media, with the influence of social media, with the posts that you were seeing via the algorithm. It's normally about self-care and habits and external factors. Because I know that's how I entered my journey and that was my perception at the beginning of my journey in twenty twenty three.I thought okay, "it's just pampering myself, self-care bubble baths, maybe add bath bombs in there, meditation, that sounds interesting. What is that? Let me try that because everyone else on social media is doing the same thing". Now meditation and journaling and self-care baths, these and solo dates are very crucial and they are self-care, especially meditation and journaling and solo dates. they are very, very important and they are inner work, but I found that social media portrays it as some aesthetically pleasing fake kind of persona. some kind of fake thing. and it's not. Meditation is very spiritual and we'll also get into that in stage three, the next stage. So I'm not downplaying these habits. These habits are very good for you, but I'm saying that social media portrays it as something in fairyland, something very externally focused rather than internally focused. That's not always the case, don't get me wrong, but from my personal experience once again, That's what I found. But all these habits are certainly very, very crucial. But As we enter our self-development journey, we can tend to get exposed to the more external self care, aesthetically pleasing habits— because we aren't exactly ready for the inner work yet. and we are just new to this. We are testing the waters like I mentioned. So it's a good way to actually get into your self- development journey.And this testing and discovery phase, both of them, one and two, are extremely crucial because you need to test and discover what you are going into. It's personal development. It's something that will change your life for the better. You want to slowly, gradually go into the process, Finding out what it's like, what it's about, testing different things and also finding out what works best for you. Because it's all about you at the end of the day.Prioritising yourself, and then of course by focusing on yourself and helping yourself, you're better able to help others'. too.

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Stage 3: Spiritual Growth

Now let's talk about stage three, which is what I call the spiritual growth phase. So This can be religious, but also holistic or humanistic growth, too. This can be things like praying to God, meditation, yoga, breath work. And an introduction to self-actualisation, which was from 'Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs', which is reaching fulfillment. Even though I was already religious before beginning my self-development journey, I definitely became much more intentional with my faith and spirituality during this stage. I started asking deeper questions about purpose and meaning on why we're all here, and was reflecting on my higher purpose. Which I did not know at this stage. Again, this is not testing and discovery, but it kind of is. At the same time, it's still introduction to spiritual growth. So technically we are not halfway through this framework yet. We are still at the beginning, so you could call this as testing and discovery still, but more to do with the spiritual growth aspect.I was introduced to more spiritual growth, especially holistic and humanistic, by a different podcast I was listening to at the time. One of the podcasts that I listened to was 'Claim Your Power'. That podcast is amazing and actually her podcast inspired me to start my own podcast. So it was yeah, really, really amazing to listen to her podcasts all this time. But definitely her episodes did get me into my spiritual growth more. Finding that purpose, finding that meaning. And that's really, really important an essential part of a personal development journey. Because in order to better your life, better yourself, better your circumstances, better your mentality, of course. That's at the foundation of everything. You need purpose. like I mentioned in one of my previous episodes. And if you don't have purpose, what will you do? You will not even why would you start your personal development in the first place? You need purpose to do that. The reason why you were listening to this episode is because you have purpose right now. You have purpose to better your life, whether you are in your self-development journey or not. You clearly have this desire in the first place, and that desire is probably stemming from that purpose to change. So listen to that. So that's why stage three is also very significant. Honestly, all these stages are very significant. and very, very valuable. but of course, You may not go through these stages, or you may go through these stages at an earlier or later date, and that's absolutely fine. That's why I have not given specific dates or years for each stage, because it's completely different for everybody. I went through all these stages in three years. You may have done it in less time or more time in a different order, and that's absolutely fine. Now let's go on to stage four. Like I mentioned, all these stages are very significant and valuable, but even more so this one, number four especially. Because I have said in a previous episode, in order to change your life, you need to change your mentality. But I don't think I mentioned that in order to change your mentality, you also need to change your emotional state. You need to heal emotional wounds, not completely. That's I don't know if that's even possible, because that can take up to a lifetime, anyway. —but to go through the journey of acknowledging your pain and going through the process of healing it. And the awareness of it in the first place.

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Stage 4: Healing & Self-Love

So stage four is the beginning of healing your past wounds. And also self-love is tied into this stage as well, personally for me, because this was the stage where I first began considering going on my healing journey and looking at past wounds and trauma. and when you begin to build that self-awareness, it's very difficult to not fall in love with yourself because you need to understand yourself in order to love and accept yourself. It's not always as easy as that. It may take a while, especially to accept yourself. But when you start to understand yourself better, loving yourself becomes easier.Just like when you get into a relationship with somebody, you don't fall in love with them straight away. That could be attachment. Those who say they love you straight away. It's normally attachment wounds there. Or lust. It's not actual love. In order to love someone, you need to get to know them. You need to understand them. Not You don't need to know everything about them, but at least to have some understanding of them and to share experiences with them and to grow together and to go through those hardships together and get past those conflicts together, That's how self-love begins as well, because you've gone through all that trauma, you've gone through all the past heartbreak, all those conflicts with yourself. And when you start to understand the way you act, why you act, the way you act, why you say what you say, why you think the way you think, and how all those past circumstances really influence the person you are today. You realize it's not all your fault at all. And even if something is your fault, you come to accept that because you love yourself so much. When you love someone, you forgive them. So being on stage four could look like therapy, shadow work, mirror work, high five work, Now the high five work is when you place your hand on the mirror and you say affirmations to yourself. Affirmations could also be included in this list. And that's why I've included self-love into this segment of the 12 self-development stages, because it's all about building that love, that relationship, That understanding, that acceptance with yourself. And I would also like to mention that healing isn't linear. Healing doesn't stay in this stage, it lasts throughout this entire framework and way beyond, because life is the journey. Healing can take a lifetime. and that may sound disheartening, but I think it's beautiful because you get to learn more about yourself. You get to continuously build that relationship with yourself. If you were perfect, if you had no wounds whatsoever. no past circumstances that you were still getting over.Where the purpose, there?Because Healing really does include self love.like I have been implying throughout the stage, but it really does because therapy is getting to know yourself better, shadow work, getting to know your past experiences, your thoughts, your emotional wounds, your childhood better.And your unconscious beliefs and limitations better and conscious. Mirror work is talking more kindly to yourself, more about self-love, building that relationship with yourself once again. And also brain dump and journaling is included in this stage as well. Because it's getting to know your thoughts at a deeper level, becoming conscious of those thoughts and beliefs, and what you are holding in emotionally.And that's extremely important because you don't want to walk around the world carrying that baggage with you everywhere you go. Because if you avoid it, it's going to come and eat you eventually and you will have to face those emotional wounds, emotional baggage that you've been carrying all along. So this is why this stage is extremely important.And I say this stage, this stage lasts throughout all the stages and beyond at the end of the day. Because Self-development is the healing journey, and it's also life in general. When you get into your personal development journey, you realize this is actually the purpose of life anyway. Growing, evolving, getting to know myself better. So instead of being a stage, it could just be a drifting stage throughout all these twelve stages and way beyond because healing is the journey and I think that is so beautiful. So don't be hard on yourself. Don't say don't think I'm saying, that's it. This is the stage of healing. No. I've included this in the stages because this is where it first began into my self-development journey. Not where it ended. This is just where it began

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Stage 5: Goals & Self-Reflection

We are now on number five of the 12 self-development stages. And this is exciting. This is about for me goals and your passions and self-reflection. which again, each of these stages do tie into each other a little bit. So reflection also aligns with healing and vice versa. And the goals also aligned with stage two I would say as well. When it came down to your routines.So This is the stage I started looking at what I actually wanted out of life. Experimenting with my passions and creating goals for myself. Now I would be lying if I said realistic goals. They weren't exactly realistic. those are my perfectionist traits coming in. I wish they were realistic. I am working on creating more realistic goals for myself. But I had goals there.These weren't huge goals since this was still the start of my journey. but I was adding little goals here and there, testing around, having fun with it. This is where I was only just being introduced to the idea of goal setting. The larger goals came a little bit later. much later actually, up until around now, which we will discuss later on in the episode.I also became much more reflective in this stage of my life. Even more so than the other stages. Because I've tested the waters now, okay. I've been continuously consuming this motivational content. Stage one, I did not stop there. I still consumed the podcasts, the affirmations, the quotes, the motivational content, motivational everything. I didn't have much social media then. I had YouTube and Pinterest and I was using those to my advantage.So this all of this was actually helping me rewire my brain. And then that's when I started to create more goals for myself. So this was still at the beginning, but we are very much into the growth journey now and we are enjoying it.More so, more or less, because of course stage four was difficult with healing with the beginning of healing past wounds and trauma, but the self love made it meaningful and beautiful and really, really pleasant and worthwhile.So through what I also learned in therapy, the goals came in.This is Not just reflection on the future, but also reflection of the past. as well, because four and five also interlink slightly. Reflection is a really important part of self-development, in my opinion, because reflection creates self-awareness. So then you become more self-aware of your thought patterns of emotionally, like I mentioned in stage four.very much links in with each other. and when you become more aware of your mentality and your thoughts, that influences your behavior. And then you become aware of your behavior. So then you become more aware of your habits and your actions. And when you become more aware of your habits and actions and you change those, you become more aware of the character you are playing and portraying in the world who you ultimately are at the end of the day. Because your habits create who you become. So when you change those habits, you change your identity. And that is definitely a contributor to manifestation as well. Manifestation also linked in with spirituality in stage three, which I did not mention. Apologies. I did not write that down.But yes, manifestation also links in with stage three for me.But you have to be careful with reflection as well because too much self-reflection can cause overthinking and stress. So it's all about finding that healthy balance. It's all about balance in life. You need to have self awareness in order to change, in order to shift timelines, in order to become more aware of yourself.and others around you. But you also don't want to have too much self reflection that you begin to doubt yourself and overthink.

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Stage 6: Discipline & Routines

Number six for me was about stricter locked-in routines. This stage was all about discipline because I discovered the 5am Club by Robin Sharma at the time and this book really motivated me to work on my routines even more. This book wasn't just about routines, wasn't just about waking up at 5am. There was a lot of significant, amazing information and insights in that book that I learnt.Which honestly would be the book I would give anyone before they begin their self- development journey because it is absolutely incredible. It's the little handbook to start your cell development journey in my opinion. So this book really helped me in a lot of ways, but specifically with my routines. Because I wasn't at the beginning of my journey, but it definitely did help me in a lot of ways.And This stage was about putting systems in place and creating automatic discipline because as you may know, for discipline to actually last, systems need to be put in place to make it easier for you to execute that discipline. in the first place. So for example, if you say you want to go to the gym tomorrow at 7 AM, why not make it easier for yourself? Set your workout gear the night before. Make your bag the night before, put your clothes out the night before. So then in the morning, you just wake up, you get dressed, boom, you are out of the door. That's how you make it easier for yourself. And then with consistency, that's discipline. And also along with that came getting out of my comfort zone as well. So the things I was doing was cold showers, looking at the foods I was eating, not restricting myself, but rather exchanging different foods for better ones for my body, suited to my body.Not counting calories or any of that toxicity. And also waking up early as well. So yes, this does kind of relate to the 5am club book. For me I was experimenting with my 5am routines. Yes, I was at the time. I was very much influenced by that book. And I found that 5am really did work for me. and was actually very life changing and very good for me. emotionally, physically, psychologically, until I gave up about a week later. At that point in my life, five AM wasn't sustainable. So I eventually moved back to six AM and seven AM because I was literally forcing myself to wake up at five when my routines weren't really there yet. I was used to seven. Half seven. So jumping straight to five AM was extremely unsustainable.And that's why it did not even last long. Probably didn't even last longer than a week. Actually, lasted less than a week. So but now I am currently in stage 12, which we will discuss in a minute on my self-development journey. I am gradually working back towards 5 30 a.m. Because in this stage of my life it is sustainable. And in this stage of my life, I feel ready for it and I am already waking up around quarter past six. I'm already about 45 minutes away anyway, so it makes it more sustainable and easier for me to get to that goal. As well as I have more of a built system now in my routines, that's for another episode. but I've definitely created my routines more enjoyable and longer and more exciting and more purposeful. SoYeah. I will probably do an episode on my five AM, five thirty AM routines once I get there. But it's definitely been a journey and it's definitely not been easy. But I am in bed by nine or half nine, so it is easier now. But this stage was definitely experimenting more with my routines. Stage two was testing the waters of routines like adding meditation in the morning, adding yoga in the morning for example, small adjustments like that. And stage six for me was adjusting the actual times and getting a little bit stricter and I would say a little bit over the top. But I was still experimenting and I found that at the time the 5am wasn't for me. Well it was for me. but not at that time of my life.

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Stage 7: Self-Image & Fashion

Okay, so we go on to stage seven. Now, For me this was appearance focused. Yes, stage two was also aesthetically pleasing kind of focus, but that was more in terms of habits and routines, what looked good on camera. But Stage seven is more about me personally. And you'll see the actual link later on when I go through the other stages after this one, how they all interlinked, because it's more about personal image. So This stage became more appearance focused and looking at how I presented myself to the world, experimenting with my personal style, combining fashion with my personality.And taking inspiration from Pinterest and looking at different celebrities I admired in terms of their fashion. This is really my introduction to asking how do I want to present myself to the world.And I'm also doing this a little bit at the moment as well, not just back then. Again, these different stages, they can hover around a little bit, and that's absolutely fine. But yes, I definitely did have fun with that. It was more about my personal style, my fashion sense. And I really started to experiment in the last couple of years. And I found myself becoming more confident because of this.and dressing like the person I wanted to become. Again, like some manifestation of spirituality. So this was a very significant part of my start development journey and a very, very fun one. I can't lie to you. I've always been interested in fashion. I've always loved it. I've always experimented with it since I was very, very young. But now, when I say now, this was stage seven. Although I am still experimenting with it here and there actually. but I began to experiment more with it back then a couple of years ago It was about finding my authentic personal style because I have a fashion sense that isn't exactly common for my age group, so that's why it was about really becoming my authentic self more.And I suppose That ties in with self love as well and healing, because even though it's through fashion, a lot of healing comes through fashion. And I mentioned in one of my episodes about creativity, that creativity is very healing and it's a way to express yourself healthily. That's definitely been a significant part of my own healing journey. And experimenting my appearance has definitely been a huge part of that as well in terms of fashion, how I present myself in general, makeup and everything. It's always been a healthy kind of self-expression for me since I was younger.So I was really coming into my own fashion sense and then people started to notice my confidence because I wasn't dressing for anybody else anymore. Because when I was younger I always liked this business kind of boss type style. Very over the top. Very out there. Very businesslike. And now it may seem very too formal for a lot of people, but for me I feel good in that. I feel like my best self in that. That's how I connect to my highest self. And I can imagine my future self dressing like that. In fact, even more so because I still feel like I'm holding back to some degree.So that's why the self- Trek is journey is very important to experiment. And that's where it began at this stage.

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Stage 8: Etiquette & Manners

So we go on to stage 8. We are nearly done actually. We only have four stages after this one left. But of course, more will probably be added on in the future. And I will update you. But Stage 8 ties in a lot with stage 7.And it is about etiquette, manners and communication.Round this stage I became very interested in etiquette, manners, and communication. Things like table manners, digital manners on social media, for example, professional manners, social manners. This is also where I discovered my favourite elegant etiquette creator called Jamila.which I will mention her in the show notes. because I'm not very good with names. Apologies. But she is absolutely incredible and a huge inspiration of mine. until now. And this is also partly why I like to talk about elegance and etiquette on this podcast platform as well. Because I find it very interesting and I really like it.And Although at first, it can get mixed up with perfectionism, it can make you feel inauthentic, I found that the more I'm learning more about myself, the more I feel like my authentic self is becoming elegant. my future self is an elegant woman. So this makes sense and also etiquette, manners, communication.My higher self, my future self, already knows all this. She can walk into any room and knows exactly where to go, what to do, where to put and how to eat specific things. Because she's used to being in those big rooms. And that's why I think etiquette, manners and communication is so important. And of course in your daily life as well.It's also a very good conversation starter, believe me, to know about these kind of things.

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Stage 9: Inner Refinement & Elegance

On to stage nine of the personal development framework. I am quickly moving on to stage nine because they both interlinked. So This is refinement and elegance. Now I call this refinement and elegance number one because number ten is the second part. But all three of these, eight, nine and ten, do interlink in my opinion.So this is about inner and outer refinement and elegance. Now I became interested in both refinement and elegance, not just externally, but internally too. Things like posture, listening skills, speaking, slow elegance movements, and setting boundaries as well, because that's my authentic self, not just soft elegance, but also assertive.elegance while still keeping my calm, keeping my cool, while still acknowledging my own feelings. Because we do not want to close ourselves off at all. That's not the goal.Now these last stages I am mentioning are quite recent because stage twelve is where I am at now. So bear that in mind. And I honestly enjoyed refinement and elegance, inner and outer. I'm still learning about it, I still love it, and I'm still practicing my posture. I also did make an episode on how to Perfect your posture, I think I the episode was called. That seemed to be quite popular as well, that episode. That's when I got into that stage of my life of stage nine. And yeah, sometimes I can still have a sloppy posture, so don't worry about it. It does still happen from time to time. Bad habits do die hard, so it's all about consistency.And keep practicing and not giving up on yourself. And Please don't confuse elegance with perfectionism. Okay, I honestly think it was wrong to call my episode Perfect Your Posture because it's not about perfectionism. Okay. It's not. It links and ties in with confidence. If you have a straight posture, it shows you're confident, you are open, you are secure.Within yourself, not to do with perfectionism. Those who are confident actually don't give an F about perfectionism because they are secure within themselves and they love themselves and their imperfections that they don't mind being imperfect. In fact they will admit it, they will embrace it. If they make a mistake, they'll be the first one to tell you.And of course speaking as well. Now I have a naturally loud voice, so when I was introduced to elegance, I thought, do I have to talk quite softly? But that's not my kind of voice. So I've decided to embrace my loud voice insteadI can still be soft without meaning to change myself. So soft can be the mentality in terms of calmness, in terms of politeness, in terms ofemotional intelligence and setting those boundaries. and becoming assertive and speaking up for myself.Because I am naturally a bold person. So speaking and boundaries do relate. Slow movement is more about less rushing. It's more about letting things flow and surrendering. It's also quite spiritual, I would say, as well. Because if you are rushing, you do not look elegant. You do not look confident either. Elegance is confidence. Those who do not look elegant don't look confident. So again, it's all about confidence and That's why it's in the self-development framework because personal development is about improving and changing your life for the better and ultimately living your best life.

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Stage 10: Your Environment Matters

Number 10 is also refinement and elegance, but number two, and that is instead of inner and outer, in terms of yourself.It's more about your environment, your living space. So then my environment became really important to me in this stage. So you know when I was talking about slow movements, less rushing. Also slow living, candles, soft bed sheets, diffusers, scents in my room—peaceful mornings, peaceful evenings and tying those in with my routines. That's why I said I am making my routines longer and more sustainable for myself and more purposeful and meaningful. And that's how I've done that with this stage ten of making my mornings and evenings more peaceful. Although to be honest, I'm still working on making my evenings more peaceful and less rushing. But mornings I'm less guilty of that.And again, this links back to the other stages because there are constant minor improvements over time. That's the self-development journey for you. It's not about perfectionism. It's about living your best life, living to your fullest potential. and trying different things out that work for you best for you. So this was the stage where I started romanticising the 'F' out of my life.And that's why it also felt less like perfectionism because it was more about outside of me. It's more about my environment and making my environment reflect my inner world, making it more peaceful and vice versa.

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Stage 11: Professional Growth & Burnout

Number eleven is more about professional growth. Now This stage became much more future focused. Career, passions, professional growth, building something meaningful. This stage was heavy on thinking about my future. This could also be my age. as well.Now, I was listening to motivational speeches around this time. especially. This is not too long ago. And I got into this kind of hustle culture mode, which was not exactly very healthy.

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Stage 12: Slow Living & Inner Balance

This is where stage 12 came in. Inner work and slow living. My current stage now in July 2026. Finally, this is where I am right now. After burnout.Because eleven was not sustainable. Professional growth was sustainable obviously and working towards my future that's extremely significant. But this hustle culture and not taking breaks and not having time for myself was overwhelming and was inevitably going to cause burnout.So twelve, the stage where I am right now, is about coming back to myself, returning to the inner work, returning to the slow living, and creating balance in my life. And learning that working hard is important, but so is living and enjoying my self- development journey because eleven became a stage where I wasn't enjoying my soul development journey as much.because I was less focused on it and more tunnel visioned on my passions, which didn't even feel like passions because it was more about hustling and no breaks and go, go, go, masculine energy and all this. So my opinion has changed about motivational speeches because the motivational speeches for men are different to the motivational speeches for women. Solike me and maybe many other people, women who listen to the male motivational speakers and speeches.it gets women into their masculine energy and it's very unhealthy and not sustainable. Women need more flow, they need more slowness, slow living. And I really found that. So yes, I found the male motivational speakers motivating me moreBut and they helped me get on my self development journey, so no regrets about that. But now in the stage where I am, where I'm recovering from burnout, just acknowledging that I am female and hustling, hustle culture is not sustainable. Not for anybody, by the way, not just for women, but for men too. But especially not for women.Because we are different to men. Physically and the way our bodies work. I still love motivational speeches. I forever will. But now I'm also open to listening more female motivational speakers as well. And when I do listen to the male motivational speakers, I don't focus on the hustle culture kind of videos. And instead I focus on the manifestation ones or the self-love ones.Something less.Something that doesn't persuade me to work, work, work all the time and to give myself breaks. Something that's healthier and more sustainable for me and my body.So stage eleven for me was professional growth. And for me it also tied in with hustle culture and burnout. But of course it's completely different for everybody.

You may have not experienced that whatsoever. You are very lucky if you have not. but If you have, may you recover and use stage twelve to recover.And use the previous stages before stage twelve to recover, like the spiritual phase, the healing phase. The you're in the testing phases because they will always be iconic and they will always be motivating and they will always fulfill you and light you up again when you've lost your spark. So just a reminder.

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Closing

So that is all the stages of my self-development journey throughout 2023 until now. Like I mentioned, I will probably add more segments onto these stages as my self-development journey evolves and you evolve too. Please do let me know your own experiences and whether you relate to any of these stages. As you can probably tell, each segment does link in with the next—and the previous ones. So many do overlap and many continue throughout the framework. And these stages aren't rigid. They're not just, "Oh yeah, you go through this stage and then you want to the next". No. First of all it's different for everybody. Second of all, these stages each one hovers through the next. So the healing one is not going to just stop there and then you want to the next one. No. The healing one starts.in that stage, stage four, and then throughout the whole entire journey and beyond, because the life is the journey, it continues.

Disclaimer

I'm also not saying that this is how your personal development journey does look like or will look like in the future or should look like. This is simply my own personal experience. And I think many people may relate to these stages as well.Perhaps in different orders and that's completely okay. In fact, that's amazing. I would love to know which ones resonate with you. I'm sure there are many more stages to come in my own life too, because ultimately, like I've mentioned, life itself is the journey.Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.

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Call To Action

If you enjoyed today's episode, please share, rate, and follow so you never miss future episodes to come and you help others to find my show. I would love to know where you are in your own self-development journey. And did any of these stages resonate with you or has your journey looked completely different? You can let me know by commenting on Spotify or messaging me through Instagram or the podcast website.

Framework Credit

If this framework inspired you or helped put your own journey into perspective, that honestly means the world to me. And if you do ever reference or share this framework, I'd really appreciate you crediting me and the podcast Pose and Purpose, as it's something I've created from reflecting on my own personal journey over the past three years. And I will probably edit it in the future as well.

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Episode Chapters

00:00 — Introduction

Introducing the 12 stages of self-development and explaining how this framework was created.

02:58 — Stage 1: Testing & Discovery

Discovering personal growth through books, podcasts and motivational content.

04:26 — Stage 2: Building Positive Habits

Experimenting with routines and introducing healthier daily habits.

07:20 — Stage 3: Spiritual GrowthExploring spirituality, manifestation and finding a deeper purpose.

08:44 — Purpose to Change

Why purpose is essential for creating lasting transformation.

09:19 — Everyone's Journey Is Different

Why no two self-development journeys follow the same path.

09:29 — Stage 4: Healing & Self-Love

Beginning the inner healing journey through self-awareness, therapy and self-compassion.

10:20 — Understanding Yourself

Why understanding yourself comes before truly loving yourself.

12:14 — Stage 5: Goals & Self-Reflection

Setting goals, reflecting on life and becoming more intentional.

13:17 — Self-Awareness Warning

How excessive self-reflection can become overthinking.

13:54 — Stage 6: Discipline & Routines

Building stronger systems and creating sustainable discipline.

14:02 — The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma

How one book transformed my approach to routines and consistency.

16:22 — Stage 7: Self-Image & Fashion

Using personal style as a form of confidence and authentic self-expression.

16:54 — Confidence as a Result

How dressing authentically helped me become more confident.

18:05 — Stage 8: Etiquette & Manners

Why communication, etiquette and elegance became important parts of my journey.

18:24 — My Favourite Elegant Creator

The creator who inspired my interest in etiquette and refinement.

19:23 — Stage 9: Inner Refinement & Elegance

Building confidence through posture, communication and emotional intelligence.

20:16 — Elegance = Confidence

Why true elegance begins from within.

21:21 — Stage 10: Your Environment Matters

Creating peaceful surroundings that support growth and wellbeing.

22:56 — Stage 11: Professional Growth & Burnout

How ambition eventually led to burnout.

23:31 — Stage 12: Slow Living & Inner Balance

My current chapter: recovering from burnout and creating a more balanced life.

24:51 — Hustle Culture & Motivational Speeches

Why my perspective on hustle culture has changed.

26:46 — Final Reminder

A reminder that healing and growth look different for everyone.

27:34 — This Isn't a Linear Journey

Why these stages overlap and evolve over time.

28:04 — Framework & Credits

How this framework was created and why I'd appreciate credit if it's shared.

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